Or better yet...this time with a heaping dose of pop culture!...BEHOLD!:
Matt's Boxers, or as he likes to call them, A Sign That It Is Time to Do Laundry.
When Matt and I first started dating I thought it would be fun to make him something. I knew I could sew a little and boxers seemed like a totally great idea. I ran right out, picked up what I thought was a boxers pattern, grabbed some awesome planetary fabric and away I went!
I sewed the whole damn pair before realizing they what I had actually grabbed was a pattern for elastic waist workout shorts, with nary a pee-hole in sight. OOPS! There was no way I was going to hand over a pair of semi-sheer pink planet shorts and play them off as something he should wear in public. No way. So I seam ripped a hole and added a flap for coverage. It was...inspired. Revolutionary, really.
All was well. Matt opened the gift and was gracious. He seemed to ignore all the strings I missed clipping, the weird flappy panel in the front. I was convinced he liked them. I think he even wore them that week. And maybe again in another week or two. Then a few months later....but then I hadn't seen them for a few years except at the bottom of his pile of boxers. A few YEARS!!!!
I finally asked him what the deal was. Why wasn't he wearing his homemade underoos?!!!? Matt's response, verbatim, was this:
(laughter) "The hole is too high. Do you know anything about male anatomy?"
Burn! Apparently the better pee-hole in the boxers was the nearest leg hole. Not my custom, post-op flap. Here's a diagram, the red line shows the boxer outline and heretofore mentioned flap:
image from rightclickreload.com. hilarious pixelation by yours truely.
So when these babies make it to the top of the pile, it's Time To Do Laundry. Here's hoping the next time I sewed for him went a little better (hint: No below the belt anatomy involved, but still a resounding no.)