"Archives": Matt's Boxers


Or better yet...this time with a heaping dose of pop culture!...BEHOLD!:

Matt's Boxers, or as he likes to call them, A Sign That It Is Time to Do Laundry.

When Matt and I first started dating I thought it would be fun to make him something.  I knew I could sew a little and boxers seemed like a totally great idea.  I ran right out, picked up what I thought was a boxers pattern, grabbed some awesome planetary fabric and away I went!

I sewed the whole damn pair before realizing they what I had actually grabbed was a pattern for elastic waist workout shorts, with nary a pee-hole in sight.  OOPS!  There was no way I was going to hand over a pair of semi-sheer pink planet shorts and play them off as something he should wear in public.  No way.  So I seam ripped a hole and added a flap for coverage.  It was...inspired.  Revolutionary, really.

All was well.  Matt opened the gift and was gracious.  He seemed to ignore all the strings I missed clipping, the weird flappy panel in the front.  I was convinced he liked them.  I think he even wore them that week.  And maybe again in another week or two.  Then a few months later....but then I hadn't seen them for a few years except at the bottom of his pile of boxers.  A few YEARS!!!! 

I finally asked him what the deal was.  Why wasn't he wearing his homemade underoos?!!!?  Matt's response, verbatim, was this:

(laughter)  "The hole is too high.  Do you know anything about male anatomy?"

Burn!  Apparently the better pee-hole in the boxers was the nearest leg hole.  Not my custom, post-op flap.  Here's a diagram, the red line shows the boxer outline and heretofore mentioned flap:

image from rightclickreload.com.  hilarious pixelation by yours truely.


So when these babies make it to the top of the pile, it's Time To Do Laundry.  Here's hoping the next time I sewed for him went a little better (hint: No below the belt anatomy involved, but still a resounding no.)


  1. Was that verbatim? I thought I was nicer than that! Ah well... They are my favorite boxers to wear... when there are no others in the pile :) JK JK

  2. Holy crap I just came across your blog looking for ideas on the Simplicity dress pattern (the one with wings) and I just ended up laughing so hard I am crying and called my boyfriend in to read this post!!

  3. Thanks emmeli! Haha, yeah.........I actually think my husband wears these boxers more since this post so the jokes on him ;) Good luck with your dress. I really love mine, wear it a lot. Let me know how it turns out!


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